A young man once was told of a Golden rock that lay by the river shore. The rock was of great worth, but hard to find amongst the other river rocks. The young man was determined to locate the rock. One by one he picked the rocks up from the shore, and one by one he threw them in the river. Days, weeks, and months passed, every day the young man picked up rocks and one by one, he tossed them into the river. Until one day, at midday, he picked up the rock that was all gold . . . and without thinking, threw it in the river. Watching the nipples he has realized what he has done.
Habits can be hard to break. Sometimes we treat our negative feelings like the river rocks and toss them in the river; there they remain out of sight and out of mind, out of conscious awareness. But what if uncertainty, jealousy or disappointment, for example, were the Golden stone? How could those be used to our benefit?
When we avoid facing some of our painful feelings, we miss the chance to transform and transcend. We can transcend our feelings and transform into a better version of our self. The joy of transformation is embedded in our commitment to the process and of course the resolve, as it takes much courage to bear and endure suffering embedded in the process.
The first step towards transformation is to acknowledge the feeling, give it a title and then step into the second step, curious observation. Play detective Colombo and ask yourself why and how does it serve you? Third, have compassion for your feelings. Negative feelings are often infused with guilt and shame and can be very hard to endure, so make sure to get guidance and support from a trained professional.
Last, comes the resolve. The resolve is the relief of the negative feeling, accompanied by insight. That is when you know it has transcended and is not suppressed. In a way, that feeling did not just go away, but rather it graduated into its next level of existence and had taken a wiser form and so have you.